Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Time for a Pop Quiz!

What happened to this owl?

(i) She's a secretary by day and a cat burglar by night, but she forgot and wore her mask to the office.

(ii) She saw her boyfriend dancing with another girl at spring formal, then spent the rest of the evening crying mascara tears in the gym bathroom.

(iii) I forgot that fondant melts and her poor little eyes dribbled down her face.

Before I give away the answer, just reading those answer choices will probably tell you that I (A) am stupid, and (B) have a skewed ratio of imaginative to rational thoughts.

If you picked (iii) YOU WIN! What did you win? I don't know. My cupcakes are crying. Leave me alone.