The Tale Of The Deconstructed Pound Cake

Since he's not a fan of regular cake* the hubby requested that I make a pound cake for our Super Bowl party and I agreed. Considering I have seen at least one pound cake at every single bake sale, family reunion and church picnic of my Southern childhood I figured it couldn't be that hard. Wrong.
*Crazy, right? Who doesn't like cake? Although, I hate bacon so I guess we're a match made in weird-food-aversions Heaven.

Not only was I going to make a pound cake, I was going to make it from scratch and bake it in one of those fancy fluted pans. I fantasized* about having a perfectly brown cake and having my glaze perfectly drip down the ridges of the cake.
*Yes, I realize fantasizing about a cake makes me a big, fat weirdo.
Emphasis on fat.

not my pound cake

I searched the internet and found a pound cake recipe. I gathered my ingredients, diligently followed the instructions and baked my cake. 80 minutes later my kitchen smelled good enough to eat and my cake was done. With my beautiful pound cake within my (oven mitted) reach, I read the recipe's last step: allow cake to cool 15 minutes in pan; glaze cake. THE RECIPE LIED!

If you only let the cake cool 15 minutes then attempt to move it to your pretty, pretty cake stand, this is what happens:

why God, WHY?

The whole thing broke into a crumbling mess on my counter. Moments away from chucking the whole thing into the compost bin ("I can't serve this, it looks AWFUL!") I tasted a huge chunk reasonably small bite. It was divine; everything I had hoped and more. Maybe it was the late hour, or maybe it was the fact that I am the LAST PERSON ON EARTH who would let some cake go to waste, but I said:

FUCK IT, I'M GLAZING IT.

New life motto, perhaps?

And so this perfectionist served an ugly, yet delicious, pound cake to her friends.

P.S. If you read the recipe, you will see it tells you to cool the cake then it tells you how to make the glaze. Maybe if you follow the recipe in order, your cake is plenty cool by the time you move it and you don't have my problems. However, if you're not supposed to be all Type A and make the glaze ahead of time, they should really say so.